New Funny Things I Laugh At Store!! 
I am happy to announce that the Funny Things I Laugh At blog has just opened a new online store.

Check out all the funny merchandise you can buy today!!!

Go to the store now !!!

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I go ALL IN  


Everyone knows how greedy people can get when it comes to gambling, especially when you hit a hot streak.

Rewind to the other night where my friend Tommy and I go out to Indiana to go to casino to hit up the roulette tables. We sit down at the $15 table and start spreading our bets.

We all have our different methodologies to win at roulette, mine is to play the first 12 and the last 12, Tommy's is to play the first 12 and black, whatever.

We sit down playing, making a lil bit of money as the night goes on, luckily for our humor, there is a woman playing and goes on a bit of a hot streak. They are about to switch the attendant so everyone gets antsy and plays their bets. This woman who has stacked up her chips throughout the course of the night tries to put all of her money on the last 12 and play every number; unfortunately the pit calls final bets and this woman can not place her final bets in. This woman insisted on playing her money and proceeded to put approxmiately $1000 to the disapproval of the pit. She yells in an arrogant fashion, "I can do whatever I want with my money."

As luck would have it, the ball stops and lands 5 so this woman lost everything. Now a woman losing everything is not funny, a cocky arrogant woman losing everything is not funny.

What is funny is the woman putting her head in her hands and sitting at the table for litterally 45 mins muttering, "OMG" every five seconds with the occasional audible deep sigh. What made this also funny is that my friend Tommy decided to be a funny guy, after hitting his mark and making $15 on the one roll, he yells, "Whoop, I got to get my rent money back!" All of a sudden you see this woman take her head out of her hands and slowly turn to Tommy with a blank stare and then turn her head back into her hands.

LOL HAHAHAHAHA

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Worst Driver Ever 
So I am in LA for work this week doing some stuff for my employer. I haven't been to Cali since I was about ten years old, it was quite a culture shock to see the difference between the people in the west coast and east coast.

Not only are the people different but the driving is extremely different. People are just as aggressive in Cali as they are in New York but you don't tend to see that angry reprecussions of road rage. My post simply can not put into words what driving on the west coast is like.

That being said, I was a major intersection in Orange County, just sitting there in the worst traffic ever. To my right is a fairly attractive woman driving a Honda Accord while there is a giant Navigator in front of her. Next thing you know, the light turns green and the Navigator was moving slowly, it is a bigger vehicle so the pick up isn't as fast as normal car. All of a sudden, the fully attentive woman proceeded to just drive into the back of the Navigator. LOL.

She was well aware of the giant tank in front of her and just drove right into the back of it.



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Sox Game Debauchery  


Everyone knows alcohol can bring out the funny out in people; drinking at the ole ball park is no different.

The hopeless Detroit Tigers are in town this weekend to play the Sox for a 3 game set. On Friday, I went down to the south side with some randoms to get drunk and catch a game because I was so bored.

It's late in the game and we go up to the beer stand because they were doing last call. I'm just sitting there waiting for the one kid, Tommy, to come out of the bathroom and all of a sudden, the I kid I'm with, Chris, randomly starts pushing Tiger fans. Not just little nudges, I am talking full blown, throwing-elbow type pushes.

So next thing you know, he sees a couple of girls with Tigers gear on and proceeds to walk up to them and pushes them together. He doesn't say a word, he just goes up to them and pushes them together. I must say he was not discriminating, 15 year old girls to 50 year old guys, this man was simply a Tiger Fan pushing machine.

So we go to the beer stand and this random 19 year old girl with braces comes up to this guy and I and hands him a $40. I'm like WTF, I asked him what was that for? He replies, "I'm buying them beer." "Oh ok, I answer"

Next thing you know a security officer comes up to him and says to him,

"Sir you've been purchasing alcohol to these group of girls."
Guy says, "Yeah so?"
Security says, "Did you know these girls are 19 and what you are doing is highly illegal?"
The guy with his most serious face looks up to him shock and throws up his arms sarcastically replies.
"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS? I THOUGHT THESE GIRLS WERE 16!!!!!!!!!"

As soon as he said that, the security officer grabbed Chris by the collar and walked him out of the stadium with a giant entourage.

LOL

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Greatest Fight on a Bus Ever 


I probably witnessed one of the greatest fights ever today in terms of sheer humor; being that it was an actual fist fight between a woman and a man on a bus made it hilariously brilliant.

The whole ordeal started as I hopped on the 156 bus at Jackson and LaSalle with my buddy Danny. This woman was in the back of the line to get on the bus blabbering about politics or something. As I found a seat next to Danny, this woman would not stop talking about the war in Iraq. As more and more people boarded the bus, the louder and louder this woman spoke.

Needless to say it got very annoying, not only for myself but everyone. So a random gentleman in his 20's took the initiative to call her out and told her to,
"SHUT UP! No one wants to hear you."
Woman "This is a public bus and I can talk to anyone I want"
Man "No one wants to listen to you"
Woman "I am not talking to you"
Man "I am not talking to you either, no one want wants to talk to you, shut up"
Woman "This is a public bus, get a car if you do not want to hear me"
Man "You get a car and you talk to yourself all day long"

Woman saying to herself "This is a bus not a limo, I am just going to read my book because I am educated, I went to Harvard and Yale while he went to Kindergarten on the West side."

Woman says to man "I have to sit down, I have a medical condition"
Man "Yes I know you do"

At this point the whole bus goes, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The woman gets infuriated and proceeds to scrunge up this paper bag and roll it in to a ball and throw it at the man. The man gets up and punched the woman right in the face! YES!! LOL!! The woman gets up and began to start punching and kicking the gentleman and gets off the bus. All of a sudden, this Samuel L. Jackson looking guy comes out of no where and says, "Bus driver, I am calling the CPD." and we stay there on the street for a couple mins. The guy obviously knowing that the jig is up, gets off the bus.

So we sit there waiting for the cops to come with none of the fighters still there. Samuel L. Jackson comes back up to the front of the bus and is like, "It's clear, we can go, both parties have left the bus."


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